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When we arrived outside my house I realised that I couldn’t find any money to pay the fare and must have spent it all on booze. It was only about a fiver, but the guy said he wouldn’t let me off and was going to wait while I went in the house and got it. It must have been about 4am, so there was no way I was going to wake up my mum and dad, asking them for some money, they would have killed me for being in such a state at that age. I was after all meant to be having a sleepover at a schoolmates house. I tried to explain this to the driver as best I could without slurring my words, but he didn’t seem to understand, or care. He was an old Asian guy, about 40ish and wasn’t making much sense to me either. All he kept saying was ‘Money, money, you give me my money,’ and was becoming more and more worked up. I was getting really pissed off and started giving him some cheek and told him I was getting out, but he had somehow locked the doors and made my escape impossible. He then grabbed my. 58 seconds over 100 metres.One summer, the company Dave worked for transferred him to another city, and Dave was told that he had to take a new physical with the company doctor. All the tests came out fine, but the doctor remarked that Dave had the smallest dick he’d ever seen.“Do you have any difficulties with it being so small?” the doc asked.“Shit, no” Dave said. “I’ve got a wife, three kids, and a great sex life. But I do sometimes have a problem finding it in the daytime.”“What about at night?” the doc asked.“Nights are no problem,” Dave said “‘cause there’s two of us looking for it then.”The wondrously stacked blonde appeared at her door in a strapless evening gown that defied gravity.“Terrific!” said her admiring escort. “I don’t see what holds that dress up!”“Play your cards right, dear, and you will” she murmured.There were some backwoods hillbillies living across the river from each other, who feuded constantly. John hated Clarence with a passion and never passed up a chance.
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